Have you discovered yourself hysterically weeping in a fast-food joint’s parking lot, your best buddy concurrently attempting to hand-feed you and hold your own hair right back even though you yell, “get me away! How am I going to actually ever embark on? I’ll never love once more!” through snotty tears? Or will you be … not gay?

Ah, heartbreak! The main reason songs are sung and paintings are coated, the inspiration behind high art like

Romeo and Juliet

and

Red (Taylor’s Version)

. I thought I’d seen almost everything, believed all pain. But we
started internet dating girls
— and unfortuitously, something they forget about to say at Lesbian Orientation would be that very first queer break up will destroy you, in a “could I end up being hospitalized because of this enormous and insurmountable suffering” particular means. Eventually experiencing literally and emotionally lured (and committed) to some body you love only hits different.

A couple weeks back, i came across my self for the throes of my very first lesbian breakup. I cut up my ex’s shirt into 1000 parts, smeared puppy poop throughout it, and left it to allow them to get in the front garden. However retired toward comfort of personal depression cavern (my sleep) and did just what any heartbroken Gen Z–millennial cusp needs to do mid-breakup: doomscroll on TikTok into the early many hours. But as I opened the application as well as the little FBI guy in my telephone shuttled me personally straight to the front web page of Lesbian TikTok, I quickly recognized the sapphic gods hadn’t only appear for my situation — they’d come for us

all

. From inside the words of queer TikToker Victoria Paris, ”
All white homosexual women are fighting!
”

Blame it throughout the
Lesbian Separation Curse
. Through the few days I happened to be unplugged from internet, lying facedown to my kitchen area floor and sensation sorry for me, Lesbian TikTok absolutely imploded over some high-profile queer breakups that tore the #wlw neighborhood to pieces.

It seems like most of the TikTok lesbians are separating on the other hand, additionally the drama makes

Prefer Isle

appear to be child’s play. Based on some, the Curse was
in the beginning cast
whenever lesbian pop star Fletcher started teasing a track from her coming album,

Girl of My Personal Fantasies

. The tune, “Becky’s therefore Hot,” talks of just how hot her ex’s brand new girlfriend is actually and implies that she desires to learn how hot-girl Becky “tastes.” Fletcher’s ex, prominent LGBTQ YouTuber Shannon Beveridge, rapidly got to TikTok by herself responding towards the song, clarifying that “nobody asked permission.” Gay
disorder
ensued.

Unexpectedly, celeb couples including A-lister
JoJo Siwa
and former girlfriend Kylie Prew, to university baseball star
Sedona Prince
and former gf Rylee LeGlue happened to be splitting up faster than they are able to U-Haul in the first place. Additionally the gays online had been Eating! It! Upwards! There have been clapback duets, incriminating review
threads
, not too sly trips to
Disneyland
, $80
merch
offered,
exact receipts
— how can a lesbian with a regular task and a screen-time limit on her behalf phone potentially actually ever continue?! Well, i did so what any heartbroken lesbian needs to do at the same time similar to this: I called out of work, popped lots of popcorn, got several Klonopin, smashed that “Ignore restrict” option, and kept scrolling.

If your wanting to come at me personally for reveling within the suffering of actual men and women, discover the fact: if you are in your dark destination, could feel great to look at somebody else’s existence break down. Normally, how come we enjoy wonderful truth shows like

Love Isle

or

90 Day Fiancé

? Even a old-fashioned rom-com can smack the place. Drama heals crisis, and nothing shuts your mind down that can match projecting a pain and suffering onto simple Brits who would like to find really love in a villa.

The Lesbian Breakup Curse is more than simply a mystical (and maybe astrological) event taking over our very own social-media nourishes. It fills a requirement for material which is relatable, sensible, and connected to the queer society. Once I was actually ultimately capable lock my cellphone, dry my rips, apply some chunky program footwear, and make L.A. lesbian bar world by violent storm, the # 1 subject of dialogue was, predictably, the Curse. This really is all of our Super Bowl.

Lesbian representation into the news is actually very little (and dubious!) at the best, when considering meaningless homosexual separation material, it is slim pickings for all of us queers. This obsession using the personal matchmaking resides of lesbian women stems from a desperation for in fact good homosexual TV. Whenever we had a mature lesbian dating program concerning carabiners, the Woods on a Wednesday night, and traveling 12 several hours and three time zones for a first go out, we probably wouldnot need to concentrate a great deal on a “curse” that has been laid out for people on TikTok.

Therefore indeed, it is genuine I happened to be a sufferer of the Lesbian Breakup Curse (obviously, it hits people with less than 100 fans on TikTok, too), it pulled me personally upwards from the bootstraps, slapped myself around several times, got me through dog-poop period, and aided myself obtain some necessary perspective. Actually, i do believe I’ll credit my whole recovery toward Curse — we gays actually lift the other person upwards, cannot we? And these are lifting right up, not stress, no exes happened to be injured within the authorship of this story. In fact, after half a session of partners therapy and one Phoebe Bridgers concert, we aren’t exactly exes anymore. (Gay, I know.)